Life Lessons Learnt Abroad...I am coming Home

     Life Lessons Learnt Abroad..I'm coming home...


headed to a school thru the slums


           Upon my departure, My Kenyan friends told me I left a footprint that will never be erased...Wow, I am blessed to have been able to connect that deeply with a group of relative strangers....
           God was / is my guardian, "He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you can hide" Psalms 91:4.......I was well protected.....
          After months living in Nairobi, Kenya, Africa, I am headed home, to Derby, CT.  As the  747 - 400, double decker airplane attempts lift off, I am filled with mixed emotions.  I remember how excited I was to be going to serve in Africa, but this  time, headed home, the excitement is not the same....although   I am looking forward to seeing all my friends, family, and colleagues, back in the US, at the same time, I know it will be an emotional struggle  to re-integrate into a society that is so opposite what I have been living in for the last 3 months.  I am already missing the many intimate  friendships I made with the Kenyan's.... Although I lived in a "normal' house at night with all the amenities, including "House Help", during the day I worked deep in the slums of the Mathare Valley.... AND  Words and pictures simply can not describe it......  In the slums, there is no sewer and no running water, no washing machines, no bathrooms, no stoves, no sinks, no refrigeration, one bed for ten people, dirt floors in a tin shack; and maybe there is a small kerosene cook stove where rice is boiling.   They  lead such a simple, yet so difficult life, solely based on survival and lead by their deep faith.   In this survival mode, there is no room for "American" thinking.... Americans are loud. Many are materialistic, egocentrical, self centered, fast-paced and on their own "mission" to make "me" feel as comfortable as "I" need.  This outlook on life is completely the opposite of how I have been living for the last 2.5 months. My anxiety toward re-integration is real.
             As I did my first load of laundry on US soil, my mind kept flashing back to the many women, hand washing their clothes  and bathing their  children in a   small bin filled with  water they had lugged on their head for miles. As I drove home from  the airport, we passed a 32 foot fifth wheel trailer being pulled by an Ford 350;  a house on wheels used for vacationing, probably for two people.. that house could fit 12 families in Kenya. Now, as I navigate through the Internet at break net speed, I reminisce about the "wait" time required in Kenya, while navigating the Internet, and all the extra time I had for simple thinking, in silence, while I waited for my next click of the mouse to load.....It is amazing what we can do without.  We are all human beings..how can our experience of life be so opposite yet so much the same.
            



Me, doing a teacher training in Kenya

          My purpose on this missions trip was to develop and implement a system of Special Education in a country that is just now starting to acknowledge that special needs exists.  As an educational leader, I knew my leadership skills would be put to the test..and I passed with flying colors.  This was a big challenge and I learnt so much from these people.  I was successful in developing procedures and forms describing referral and assessment for students with special needs. Then  I held 23 teacher, parent,  and student trainings to inform all stakeholders of the new system.  The remainder of my time was dedicated to job embedded professional  development of their first special needs educator.   In Kenya, some teachers actually have been studying special needs in college but the K-12 school systems do not yet know how to use these teachers.  I was truly implementing a cutting edge system...and it is evolving. The new resource room was being painted as my plane lifted off.
           

           What lessons did I learn.......I learnt that leadership matters.   At any level, the leader  truly is the key to success.  A good leader is rarely seen. A servant leader stays in the pack with all their colleagues, as the pack moves toward their vision and aspirations.  At times, the leader needs to put forth a new idea, get stakeholder buy in and move the system forward. That is what I was able to do in a third world country; and I was successful. Another lesson I learnt was sustainability is key. A good leader puts columns in place to sustain the implemented changes.  In Africa, whenever I trained, or developed forms, or devised procedures, I had a Kenyan take the lead on the action because I knew I would not be there forever and I needed to know someone else could carry the torch. I learnt that no matter what I did do,  I am not indispensable.  Any job I have, I know I can be replaced. The Bible tells us, "Don't cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself  or your importance" Romans 12:3 Phillips.  When a leader thinks they are indispensable, that is when they will start to crumble.  Leaders should never believe they are indispensable.  We are all replaceable.  However, some leaders are more successful than others;  I will always give 120% in life.


Faces I will miss in Kenya.....

            Clearly, excellent leaders have earned their status by producing successful outcomes.
               I thank all of you for your continued support while I was away.And I thank you for continuing to read my blog.   If you pass me on the street or at church, stop and say hello. I would be happy to share my experiences in more detail.
        
The Kenyans, with their deep faith remind me to follow Col. 3:2, "Let heaven fill your thoughts. Do not think  only about things down here on earth" 

Now to start a new adventure, back to work, as a Director of Special Education in Derby, CT.    I am sure it will not be without  its challenges, but I am also sure of another thing, I am a different person. I am confident in my leadership abilities, I have softened my views on what I "need" versus what I " want"; my outlook on life has changed dramatically..AND..........           

"Don't sweat the small stuff , and its all small stuff".....
I am coming Home.

The Wrap - Up.....

Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future…”

I know God is always driving my car, but sometimes I just want to steer myself because it seems He might be lost, but our precious Lord does not need a GPS, his plans for me were made long before I was ever born.  AND….For this part of my journey, my mission trip to Africa is coming to an abrupt end, due to my ongoing deteriorating heart condition.

Teacher training; I informed all 14 Schools!!! plus 5 parent groups. Whew! This is a typical classroom.

So let’s get personal, what is really going on here.  Well it all started fifteen years ago when I was 35, in perfect physical condition, when I suffered a life threatening seizure at work, completely out of the blue. I was rushed to the hospital, then airlifted to Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center where I spent two long weeks while they studied me. I was told I would most likely need a heart transplant within ten years.  With no other answers, I was sent home with some new medication to help control how my heart beats.  Apparently I have an electrical problem that presents heart arrhythmia's. My heart muscle is very strong, and the veins and arteries are clear. Two years later, signs of slight progression were seen so they implanted a computer device, a defibrillator and a pace maker, in my chest that would pace my heart, should I need that service, and also bring me back to life should my heart go into fibrillation…Shock Therapy…Now let’s talk about what this really means. You know the feeling you get when your car is sliding out of control, on the icy road and you see the snow bank just ahead you, and you get ready for the hit; or the feeling you get when you are riding your bike or your motorcycle and you hit that patch of dirt and you know you are going down; or the feeling you get when you are zipping along on your skateboard, you hit a rock and are thrown off the board, that sinking feeling that hits you just before you hit the ground. Or how about the feeling you get when you are in labor, and you know the next contraction is coming and it is totally out of your control; or the feeling you get when you are skiing and you hit that patch of ice, your skis come out from under you and you simply wait for the hard, icy ground to connect with you; that sinking feeling, that the inevitable is going to happen, and you can not do anything about it….no positive thoughts, no prayers, or anything else will change the outcome at that moment. You simply pray for your safety, that you come out alive and well.  That is the feeling I live with on a daily basis.  When I am medicated and doing well, much like remission from cancer, all is well, but over time, when my heart acts up, my body comes unglued. During those times, I go see the doctor and he usually increases my medication or gives me a new computer..however, just before and after I am getting my “tune-up,”,  I simply have to wait for that dreadful, unpredictable shock, until my body gets back in balance.  Over the last five years, I have been defibrillated five different times.  I thank God for his plans for me, as He keeps me here on Earth every day.  This “shock” feels as if a WWF wrestler has just pounded me as hard as he could, with his fist, on my chest, knocking me down. From inside my chest, a huge bang occurs, and a loud “Ugh” involuntarily comes out of my mouth.  When it is done, I open my eyes and pray I see something familiar. This is a very scary way to live. However, I have far surpassed the ten year mark by five years, and every day is a blessing for me...

Moses and Courtni from Eastside Christian Church in CA

I am sharing this very intimate story, my testimony,  because I know that are many people who are struggling with issues in their life.  If we Let Go, and Let God, we can be free from worry.  However, Let Go and Let God does not mean sit on the sidelines in victim mode waiting for blessings to shower upon us; we must continue to do our part, pray, read the bible daily, share with other Christians, and serve. And I still do whatever is humanly possible to stay healthy.  And I do not think negative thoughts.  And I live every day as if it were my last. I am not looking for any pity.  I am fine, just as I am. We are all children of God and we were made in his eyes.   

A church friend sent me this quote from 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 –

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in difficulties, in hardships, in persecutions. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

In my weakness, I am strong and I give God all the glory for speaking to me in the quiet, and encouraging me to follow up on my vision, allowing me to fly alone, to a third world country and spend 2.5 months instilling renewed hope and knowledge to many people. I have accomplished my goal, although I am cutting my stay short, I have made many deep friendships and God willing, I will be back. This I know.

One Person......Really!

          
             What can one person really do......I have come to believe that one person can truly transform lives forever.... Remember Moses?  Well, I had the pleasure of visiting him again this week.  He is a totally different child.  When we first met, 6 weeks ago, he had been home bound and in bed for ten years, only crawling out to sit on the couch to eat his porridge; he is 14.

Moses, 6 weeks ago

Moses Today

The mother did everything for him. She did not think Moses could learn anything. She also thought he was deaf. With prompting and some physical assistance, he miraculously started walking on his own ( see previous post for full story).  And that was only the beginning......When we visited this week, Mary, the mother  said, that since we came last, he has grown so much and he is a completely different child now. Both she and Moses are changed people forever.  His bed sores are gone and he plays outside with his siblings, he is making noises now trying to talk, he is starting to communicate with his mom when he needs to go the bathroom...he can hold his own spoon...and he ran across the play area today....it is truly amazing to watch this continued transformation of lives.

Laveenda, 6 weeks ago

            Let's talk about Laveenda, she is the 12 year old girl the mother was carrying on her hip as we walked to her house. She spends most of the day in her bed.  That day, 6 weeks ago, the mother was desperate for help, she was anxious and depressed, in total despair and feeling hopeless.

Her family, including her husband,  has shunned her because her tribe does not accept such children, so the single mother had to find a separate house for the child to sleep in, alone. The mother comes to visit her child 4 times per day to make sure she is safe. The day we visited 6 weeks ago, the child was non responsive, nearly falling asleep sitting up.  I was heart broken. What could I possible do for them?

Laveenda today

We talked. I talked about the fact that is is OK to have a child with a disability, it is not a curse, and the the child can learn.  I encouraged the mother to continue loving her child, despite the disabling condition. I told the mom to get the child outside, take her for walks. The child had scoliosis and can only walk for 50 feet or so. We prayed for her and her family. Then we left. This past week, as we visited her again, she told us she was  filled with hope. She had moved her child again to a new room, still alone, but closer to the mom.  The child was sitting up and at times, tried to communicate with the mother. I commended the mother on her obvious unconditional love for her child. She told us that since our last visit, she has been filled with  renewed hope and things have gotten much better for all of them.  It is still very hard, but at least it is better. I was amazed...I was wondering , what did I  really do....then I realized I had accomplished exactly what I had set out to do in the beginning of all of this, instill hope and knowledge to parents and children with disabilities.
          Then there is John Kiamani, an adult who suffered an accident two years ago, and is paralyzed from the waist down. Again, on our first visit, weeks ago, I felt helpless. What can I offer him? My knowledge on paralysis is minimal, and I could see no way for him to be productive in these slum conditions.  He would never be able to get out of his house...I was having limited thinking....The team of people encouraged him to be faithful in his walk. I told him God has big plans for him.  This week was our third visit to his house, and every time we visit, he encourages us, he greets us with a smile, and he prays for us and with tears in his eyes, he told me that he is filled with hope since we first visited him; when he saw me come back to his house for third time, he felt truly blessed and encouraged. He said he is feeling stronger and better. And he is trying to think of a way he can be productive in society.  His wife works and he makes lunch every day  for his two children, from his bed....life is hard here...Every Sunday, his friends carry him to to the road and they put him on a Boda Boda ( motorbike) sandwiched between two of them and take the long journey out to his church.  You can imagine how risky it is to ride a motorbike, on these Kenyan roads,  when you have no feeling in your legs at all. Even balancing is a struggle. But they make it. Every Sunday.
        Back at the main office, as we were taking Chai, I was talking to Isabella, still in wonderment about what these people had said; and that their lives truly have been transformed and hope instilled, life is hard enough for able bodied people and hundreds of times harder for people with disabilities. These people persevere through many hardships. I can see the hope in their eyes and smiles, they are truly grateful.

Moses holding hands with Courtney

         As my doubts attempt to creep in, Isabella replies, "We give them hope and prayer.  Now do you believe one person can make a difference?"

The Return.....

I am truly Loved by Him.

By the power of Your Holy Spirit I can successfully resist the devil and he must flee from me (James 4:7)

Trials and tribulations are the joy of living, just think if everything was easy, no problems, no worries; life would be so boring.  But when I am in the middle of a life- lesson trial, it feels so difficult.  It is in those times that I turn to God for strength, and bow my head in humble prayer and gratitude; Gratitude for simply being allowed to stay on His earth another day and glorify His name, allowing my hands and feet to carry out His will for me; for He loves me so much, He will watch me struggle.  The Lord never gives us more than we can handle.

            After my necklace was ripped off my neck, while waiting for a Matatu, I really felt defeated and discouraged. I was wondering why my conviction was so strong to come here. When I made a decision, last year, to return to Kenya and implement systemic change, I never had any doubt or fear.  Everything fell into place. Once I was over here, around week three, I started to doubt my abilities.  What can one person really do?  I wondered why I thought I could really make a difference.   But I worked hard every day, sometimes feeling productive, other days feeling little worth. Homesickness set in.  But my Faith never wavered. Then the thief attacked.  My Faith was tested again.  In the end, I came out fighting, feeling strong and courageous again, ready to conquer the world and continue my mission. I was praying for the young man who stole my necklace, praying for his salvation.

I feel as though God is pouring one miracle after another into me. 

Isabella, Margaret, and Me, the three Amigos...

I was called down to the front office today, by the Executive Director. He wanted to see me immediately. As I walked toward his office, my mind was racing; what had I done wrong, did I say something wrong in the teacher trainings, were they going to send me home, was I pushing too hard for a Resource Room?....why on earth would they want to speak to me?

Only God knew why. He had it all planned out…..

I entered and sat down, while three people stared at me…I was so nervous. Then he pointed to his desk so I would look down, “Is that yours?”. There was my necklace, the one that had been ripped off my neck 2 days ago, in the slums….I could not decipher my emotions…I was in awe. He asked me to look closely; he wanted to give me plenty of time, to see if it truly was my necklace.  It was.  And it was not broken. Then one of them made a phone call to let someone know it was my necklace and everyone rejoiced. The necklace had been sold and then retrieved.  The details of the return will remain undisclosed, but I will tell you it is very rare for stolen items to be returned.  The Kenyan staff member told me that, in the past, even the police have gone to certain people’s houses, to retrieve stolen items, and have returned empty handed.  This truly was another miracle. God touched someone’s heart. Again.

I think my work here in Kenya will have far reaching effects on many children and families.  Stumbling blocks arise. I will persevere and continue on my mission. God deserves all the glory.  Thank-you Father for your strength and guidance, I am forever indebted. 

Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the Lord delivers him in times of trouble. The Lord will protect him and preserve his life;  He will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes. (Psalm 41: 1-2)

Violated.....

Violated….

Violated…

Well, it finally happened.  Let me preface it with I am unharmed and safe, in my temporary home in Africa, sitting at my computer, safely locked in, behind the large, locked, gate, at the driveway entrance, behind the locked doors of the house.  The guard dogs are kept in a cage all day, and when it is time to go to bed, someone (I am not sure who) lets the dogs out of their cages to roam inside the property at night.  Sometimes, they bark so much at night they wake me up.  I have only seen one of the dogs once, there are three watch dogs. I have been in Nairobi for two months, and I venture out into the slums at least three times per week, we often need to wait on the side of the street to “jump” on a Matutu, to get to the next school.  Then we walk into the Area where the school is located, through the school gate with the guard, and head to the school office. The small children walk them selves to and from school daily. I am careful, always with 1-3 Kenyans, my hands are empty, my cell phone is hidden deep in my pocket, no purse, no hand bag, we walk with a purpose, steadily, and quickly, watching all around us. But today was different.

            Myself and one other Kenyan staff slowly walked toward the main road to wait for our Matatu, but we would have to wait for our friend. She was coming. The sun was shining, it was a beautiful day.  So we stood at the corner of the intersection, together. It is a very busy place.  Many people were roaming around, some waiting for the bus, some getting on or off, vendors selling their items, glue sniffing kids begging for food, homeless kids wandering around, and Matatu’s picking up and dropping people off, slowing down and speeding up.  I am used to many eyes watching me. But today, I could see a young man eyeing me in a different way.  It seemed like he wanted to see what he could steal.  I laid my arm over my pocket where my cell phone was tightly tucked away and crossed my hands in front of me.  I turned away as he brushed past my shoulder.  The Kenyan staff was very keen on him to.  We waited.  Trying to stay calm and brave is a very difficult thing to do when you are raked with fear.  So many things could happen out here.  Even in the most difficult of situations, I know God is in control. But the devil is very busy. We had placed ourselves so only one side of me was open to the street. As I was convincing myself everything was ok, suddenly from behind my left shoulder, a right hand whipped in front of my face, grabbing the necklace I was wearing around my neck. He yanked hard, the necklace was broke free from my neck, and the two thugs calmly walked away, looking back over their shoulder as if to say, “Ha, we did it”….they were arrogant and defiant.  I was stunned.  I just stood there, like a statue, looking at them walk away, I wanted to run after them and start screaming, but I simply turned to look at everyone else who saw it, no one moved or spoke. The Kenyan staff with me was devastated.  She apologized and I said it was not her fault.  I reached up to take off my costume jewelry earrings for fear my ears might be ripped if someone tried to get the earrings.  One of the Kenyan vendors said take it all off, and pointed to my bracelet. I told him it was a medical ID bracelet and it does not come off…..We walked back and waited for our friend.  They spoke in Kswahli.  They were very sorry it happened.  Then, as if nothing had happened, we went right back the same spot, to get on a Matatu, to go to the staff training we had scheduled for the day.  As I rode that Matatu, my bravery suddenly turned to cowardess and I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes. I felt so violated, my neck felt like it was scratched. I saw the whole thing happen again and again, they were so fast. So direct. So deliberate. Kenyans truly believe that all Americans have lots of money.  It could have been worse, they could have pushed me down, emptied my pockets, stole my shoes and anything else that is removable.  It was just a necklace, but that was not the point. Then my mind started racing, as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks…What in the world am I doing here; living in a culture that struggles to survive on a daily basis, walking through areas where homeless children roam aimlessly for years, until they start sniffing glue to numb the pain, babies cry out for the mother they do not have, children play in the black sewer water that runs down the middle of the Area, pregnant woman carry huge loads on their head or buckets of water, vendors sell food with flies buzzing around, people are starving, sick, begging, dieing, daily.  And  I think one lone soul can make a difference………

             Thankfully, I was in the front seat of the Matatu, so my colleagues could not see my face, for I was ashamed I could not hold back the tears.  The bus stopped and we were hurrying off….I wiped  away those tears and proceeded to the staff training.  I got the feeling that crying is not done in public here because as we were preparing for the staff training, eating lunch, one of the American interns asked me if I was ok…that opened the flood gates as I could not lie about it. I was not OK.  I still had not processed the incident.  I could tell my almost uncontrolled emotions were making the Kenyans uneasy.  Once again, I choked back the tears and we proceeded to perform two great trainings that day. 

At first thought, I said maybe I should give up and go home early.  Just get on an airplane and leave all this behind.  I have done all I could do here.  But then that small, quiet voice spoke to me, always so clam and convincing.  I am   doing His work, and you know what,  I am making a difference, and we will persevere through this. 

In every success, there are stumbling blocks, and hurdles we must jump.  Nothing is ever easy, But with God at my side, it sure does make those hard time easier. “I refuse to allow fear or a lack of Faith to keep me from walking victoriously in all You have for me” (2006, Omartian, A Book of Prayer). 

Now that I have had time to process, I know some good that will come from this incident. And I will continue my work until the very end.

Prayer (2006, Omartian) :

Heavenly Father, I worship You as my Lord and King. I praise You that You are all knowing and can see the end from the beginning. That You uphold all things by Your power. That You hold my life in Your hand. That You see my past and future. I lift up to You all that I am and offer my life to You. Make me an instrument through which Your will is accomplished on earth.  Use what I have for Your glory.  Lift me up to see things from your perspective, and help me to rise above my limitations.  I don’t want to limit what You can do in me and through me because I do not have an adequate vision of what Your heart desires to accomplish.

2 Thessalonians 1:11 - Therefore, we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power.

Honor and Respect, what about physical affection?

What does Honor and Respect really look like? Well, just come visit Africa for a time and you will see it. As a visitor, I am well respected and well taken care of. They apprecitate all the help. Every time I walk into a room, a chair is offered to me, and I need to sit in it as a sign of respect. Whenever you enter a room, you should greet everyone in the room with a hand shake. At the main school, there are separate bathrooms for the visitors and the staff must use the staff bathrooms. At lunch time, the visitors have their own food, and the staff and children have their own food. Visitors eat in their own room. Things are definitely different over here. That is respect for the visitors..however, as a culture, it is a different story. The woman and children live very difficult lives over here. It is all about survival. Many of the woman are single. Many of them are forced to do things you would never even dream of. Kids are left to raise themselves and left alone at a very young age. Children are left to roam the slums. Many of them are orphans. One in four adults has HIV. When you enter a different culture, you have to accept their culture and values. That has been one of the hardest things for me to accept. While I am being treated with so much respect, people are suffering. I address the house help, I say hello and goodbye, and engage them in conversation. Then I think maybe I shouldn't talk to them because I am going against the grain of the culture. It is a fine line to walk. Even a simple hug is going against the grain. Physical affection is non existent here. While attending a parent training on Friday, I was able to simply observe the parents as I waited to address them. Over 60% of the parents were carrying babies, tied on their backs. As I watched them, I realized they are handling their babies like a rag dolls: Pushing and pulling them from their backs to their front, tying and untying them, nursing them, but rarely did I see any genuine signs of affection. No coddling or caressing, no simple physical gestures of love. Maybe it is just me, but I was amazed. The babies rarely cry and if they do, they are told to be quiet. Public school still uses caning, or corporal punishment. It is just the way it is. You can not expect to enter a different culture and think you are going to change their ways. But I am trying..... A teacher was relaying a story to me about her friend who teaches in a high class school for the blind and deaf in Africa. The school is for the "rich people". One day the school bus broke down, so the teacher offered to go get the child and bring them to school. The child is blind, deaf, and non verbal. The mother walked on the opposite side of the street. As the teacher and child were trying to board a matatu, everyone on the matatu got off the bus for fear they would be cursed by the child. The mother acted as if she did not even know the child or the teacher. This is their culture. That is just the way it is..... But I feel like I am making some break throughs. Every parent training we have attended has resulted in new clients. Parents are finding us or going to the Social Workers to say they have a child who needs help. New clients are awesome. I was very encouraged when we met a father last week. His 12 year old son is actually registered with the National Council of people with Disabilities in Kenya and has an ID card for his son. His son attends a private school and the father has worked with "some Americans" in the past, regarding disabilities. We will contact the group and see if we can connect. I have come to realize that Africa is a nation of extremes, there are only the have's and have nots, the poor and the rich, the corrupt and the non corrupt. There is no in between, it either is or is not. That is just the way it is.

Success Stories...Closing the Circle

       My new motto this year is Close the Circle, that means whatever I start, I need to assure that it gets finished, checking with everyone involved until the very end.  So here in Kenya, we met a parent and her child has clubfoot.  She did not know what to do. We referred her to the clinic, we assured she went to her appointment, and now her son is being treated for free. His clubfoot surgery went well.  Here he is with his casts on. 



Casts for two months



        They will stay on for two months, then he will wear foot braces. Below , on the right, is a second child we are working with.  He is done with his surgery and now in phase II. He will wear these foot braces for 2-3 years at night.

Braces for 2-3 years at night



       Another story...when we met Nicole, she was constantly crying, her mother said she never stops crying and it has lasted four years.  The mother continually tries to console her daughter. As I looked at the child, I felt she was having ear problems. We told the mother to bring her child to the clinic.  One of the teams was holding a free medical clinc that week at the school. The mother followed through and brought her child to the clinic. The mother was given ear medicine.  We told her we would be back to assess after the medication was finished.  Ten days later, Guess what?  Nicole's ears cleared up, she can hear now and she has stopped crying....the mother was amazed and so happy. And the stories go on and on.....

                Another success story....I met my sponsor child and her family again this year..."By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" Alma 37:6

My sponsor child, Winfred Nduko Mwende, 7 years old



          Another success story..... I took up driving in Kenya. Wow, what an experience. The steering wheel is on the right hand side of the car and you drive on the left hand side of the road. Thankfully, the gas pedal is still on the right and the brake pedal is still on the left.  With all the Matatu's and crazy drivers, I really need to concentrate. But I just had to learn....Just to say I did it!!!

          Also, I attended a Pre Wedding Ceremony on Sunday. It was a fund raiser for someone's wedding.  The funny thing was, they auctioned off these chickens...and some eggs, and an umbrella......I am definitley in Africa.... 

            



Chickens for Auction at a Pre Wedding Ceremony

 

Life in the slums.....



       

Life in the slums is  difficult,  but they do not know any other way. So you wake up in the morning, and go to work if you have a job, otherwise, you sell your goods on the road, or beg, or steal, and do your laundry, next to the sewer that runs through the slums;  hang it out to dry and go find food.        I am honored to be here serving for God.  "The course of our lives is seldom determined by great, life-altering decisions.  Our direction is often set by small, day-to-day choices that chart the track on which we run.  This is the substance of our lives - making choices". ( Stand a Little Taller, 2001).  
          I will close this circle and leave behind a sustainable Special Education referral, assessment, and support system for this school and community....I have five more weeks to finish the task....I  guess I will have to come back to see the fruits of my labor blossom and change lives forever...I haven't even left and already I am thinking of coming back....but that is how it goes.       

Health Scare

         "For I know the plans I have for you:, declares the Lord,  plans to  prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will  listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you"  declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11-14. I know the Lord has kept me here for a reason.  Fifteen years ago I was diagnosed with a progressive degenerative heart disease.  Today, I am kept alive by a computer in my chest. I have an implanted defibrillator / pacemaker.  It paces my heart, beating at 80- beats per minute and shocks my heart if I go into fibrillation. This shock therapy has occurred five times in the last five years and it feels like a horse kicking me in the chest with his two hind legs. This causes me to live every day as if it were my last day on Earth.  Travelling half way around the world, with an unpredictable heart condition may be a little frightening to some, but I feel so free.  I know The Lord will take me when it is my time to go.

Me teaching a teacher how to do Assessments

         Sooo, I received  a new top of the line computer, via surgery last July.  For the last two weeks , here in Kenya, twice a day, for 30 seconds, I heard a soft beeping, like a phone was going dead. I looked everywhere, listening to all the electronics near me to see where the beeping was coming from.  Anyone sitting near me heard it to.  I told the American visitors that all the electronics in Africa beeped twice a day.  Then on Wednesday night, I heard it again, but this time, I was alone, in bed, when I realized the beeping was coming from inside my chest...I got scared. My implanted computer was beeping. I called the US doctor and waited for a call back but they never came through. I went to sleep. In the morning, I calmly told Mary I needed to go to the hospital. I had a list of hospitals in Nairobi who could read my computer.  Off we went. The first hospital did not understand the urgency of the situation, we waited. Then after some time and discussion, we decided to go try another hospital. The driver drove Isabella and I, we got lost, asked or help and finally arrived at Nairobi Hospital. I told the information booth we needed cardiology. We were directed up to the third floor into a tiny office with 7 African people waiting in the waiting groom.   I did not know what to expect. I was in  a third world country and wondered if they knew how to interrogate my internal defibrillator. God is amazing.  He had it all planned out.
               Within five minutes, the Medtronics ( my computer company) technician greeted me in  the waiting room and said they were all available.  Not only was the high tech machine available, the technician who reads the information was there, as well as the cardiologist Doctor.  They were all African.  I was never so glad to see a familiar machine as the moment when I walked in that tiny room and saw the Medtronics technicians standing there, ready to put the mouse on my chest to read my computer. They were very interested in my "new" technology"..as they were all gathered around the computer screen on the Medtronics machine the Doctor calmly asked, " Where were you on June 20, at 1:08 pm?"  that was a Wednesday...I had no idea. The Doctor told me I was very lucky because I had come in contact with a large magnetic field and it had triggered my computer to deliver shock therapy to my heart, but aborted because I must have walked out of range of the magnetic field.. Who knew...so the alarm on my new computer was telling me I should avoid that area.  I still did not where I had been.  In the slums, there is minimal electronics.  The doctors and others  were very reassuring, they reset the computer alarm so it would stop beeping, said thank you, and sent me on my way. I thanked them. At the desk,  I asked what paperwork I could fill out and they said none.  They gave me the doctors card and told me if I have any  more problems to come back and see them,. They treated me for free!  This service costs over $1,000 in America.  In Kenyan shillings, it would have cost over 100,000 Shillings. I am still reeling from the hospitality, the availability of all the right people, and my machine aborting. This is definitely a blessing from God.  He deserves all the Glory.

God's creation and I got to see it....close up!

        Back at work, we reviewed our schedule and figured out we were at a Children's hospital doing a site visit on June 20.  I will not go back there again.
    I felt compelled to tell my story because, in Christ, all things are possible. But we need to listen to the Lord.  We need to take time to reflect on our own path, reflect on our posture of heart and our motives for doing what we do.  And we need to trust that little voice that talks to us in prayer. Do not doubt yourself. Serve. You have a lot to offer. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and soul and he will set thy path straight.  I honestly never dreamed I would be doing this, here now, living in Kenya for three months.  I listened to a small voice in my head, over year ago, and did not give up.  If we just trust and believe and BE Still and Listen, GOD will do immeasurably more than  we ever imagined. I am so blessed to continue to fulfill God's plan for me.  Thank You Lord for your guidance.

Celebrating Independence Day in Kenya

        4th of July in Kenya, well, it is a little different....I woke up and wished myself a Happy day, then off to work I went to see the front page of the daily paper with Headlines that read "Somali Attack on Kenya Imminent" ,  "Al Kada forces sure to attack" and "Casualties still rolling in from the Kenyan Church bombing" .  It is very strange to be in a country that is fighting a war. I have seen many , many more Kenya military, on the side of the road,  at key intersections with their machine guns over their shoulder.  Kenyans take these threats very, very seriously. 

Girls at church

         But we must continue on our day.  I know the Lord has me in his arms.  Soooo, it just wouldn't be 4th of July without a cook out and, some long term missionaries, Keith and Kathy Hamm, had a cook out at their house tonight..they served cheeseburgers (although good cheese is hard to come by, and lettuce is a luxury), chips and Brownies and cake..Yummy... and I led the large group of 50 visitors in singing God Bless America, and you know, I really felt it, Thank you God for Blessing America..... Kathy said when she was at the butchery, buying the hamburger, she told the  butcher he might want to stock up on hamburger because the 4th of July is America's Independence day and Americans might be buying more burger...and do you know what he said...he said, " Well true democracy must be celebrated"  So Celebrate our great country.  Let's not forget how great it really is.....I will never take it for granted again.

           Thank-you for all your support and prayers. I hear them and feel them. If you have been trying to comment on my blog and have been unsuccessful, it is because you need to have a Google email account through gmail in order to comment. You can easily set one up or Feel free to contact me using my personal  email: loisknapton100@hotmail.com

And guess who showed up in Kenya? Pastor Ron's brother from Maryland,
Pastor Rob Kastens.   Who knew?  His team just left to go on Safari.  It is indeed a small world.

Look closely and you will see Ron with hair!!!

Pastor Rob, Ron's brother, preaching in Kenya, at Pangani Church with Pastor Henry

Wow, July 2, 2012

While all of you are roasting in 90-degree weather, I am sitting in 55 degrees at night and sometimes 70 during the day. It seems odd that I am just skipping summer all together.  My seasonal clock is a little tipped….some of the things I miss are:  camping, watching the campfire burn, eating smores, looking at the stars and full moon, swimming,  boating and kayaking,  lounging by the pool, and especially  ice cream cones, bummer…

Male Lion in the Masai Mara, Safari

 BUT it is ok, because I am truly making a difference in many lives and I am sure I will have plenty of summers to enjoy in the future.  AND I really hate the heat anyway.  At least I will not have to pay an air conditioner bill!!!  The other day, as I wound around the unpaved, side roads of Kenya, on a six hour journey going to safari, I sat in the back seat of a beat up old van, jostling up and down as we navigate our way over the speed bumps and around the many potholes (nothing compares to them in America) , donkey carts, mattatus, motor bikes, and people, I wondered what it would feel like to drive again. What if I forget?  And I am kind of getting used to driving on the left side of the roads….

BUT I did have a scary experience last week, I almost got mugged by slum thugs.  We were walking through a slum on our way to visit a child at a school.  The day had started with the mattuttu  driver charging us double the fare because of the white girl. He drove off with our change. There were three of us, Isabella, Anne, and myself.  These girls are tiny little girls, size 0 or one. The road was muddy so we were forced to walk single file. We got separated and I was a bit nervous. But God always has a plan.  Isabella was four people ahead of us.  She is alert, and always paying attention to her surroundings. She heard two guys saying, “ Let’s attack this musungo, I will take her earrings, you get the necklace, and I will try to get the shoulder bag”….so Isabella waited for me to catch up then she pushed me in the opposite direction, through the muddy street, and said,” “Go that way”  and off I went, followed by Anne,  as Isabella yelled at the men.  By the way, the earrings, were simple costume jewelry and the necklace was a African one I bought for $200 shillings, or about $2.37.  The hand bag was a small cloth bag wrapped around my shoulder.  After we were safely out of harm's away, we were all clearly a bit shaken, but we found a friendly vendor to sit by and collect our wits.  This kind of thing happens in many cities, not just Kenya….but the color of my skin really  makes me a target over here.   God is good, but let’s not forget, we need to do our part.  I am so grateful for his protection. We do not take it for granted.

Baboon walking on the road

If you have ever been part of implementing sustainable, systematic change, you know, that on a daily basis, it just feels like another day. We need to get done what we planned to get done for the day…but over time, when you look back over the road, you say, "Wow, how did we get here already?”  The change process is a funny thing, especially when it is a “God thing” with him pushing and prodding all along the way, and people praying, and hoping for the change agents success.  I have had some great conversations with  Mary and Wallace with regard to leadership and change. They are incredible examples of what can be accomplished with a vision and Faith.  Do not ever doubt your self.  I had vision over a year ago and I felt a strong need to pursue it. I just felt like I had something to offer, I could develop a system of referral, assessment and supports for children with special needs, in a country where there is none.  And look at me. I never dreamed in a thousand years I would be here in Kenya, doing this.  Never doubt yourself. If you believe something, especially if it comes to you in prayer, sit up and listen, reflect and see what it might mean for you.  Too often , we are too busy to listen. Be still.  I have learned that over the last 7 weeks. Be still, for I am with you.  Amen.  

            Anyway,  I am almost half way through my time here in Kenya, and my emotions are mixed, part of me keeps pulling my mind to Kenya and their continuous needs and the other part of me is starting to emotionally prepare for my departure.  I am totally integrated into the Kenyan lifestyle and these people are so gracious, loving, and protective.  It feels like they would lay down their life for me, like Jesus.  They are that loving. And it is genuine.  The thought of integrating back into America, with its culture is already scaring me. I will never be the same person as the one that left in May.

I'm Back and ReJuvenated.

Broken Bridge, way down by the river

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens  us ( Philippians 4:13). When you don't have what you want, you have to want what you have (2009, Jody Picoult, Handle with Care).  After much deep reflection, I am ready to continue my work here in Missions of Hope. Every now and then, it is important to take a step back, and assess how am I feeling. And it is also important to deal with those feelings....I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, worn out, dismayed, helpless, and not sure of next steps. Anyone would feel this way given what I see and experience on a daily basis.  But I was rejuvenated today, after visiting one of the most affluent hospitals in Kenya, Gertrude's' Children's Hospital.  While talking to the Occupational Therapist, a vision flashed before my eyes. It was a picture of the MOHI Resource Room and how successful it will be in two years. The OT said she wanted to come see the Resource Room when it gets up and running.  What we are building does not exist anywhere in Kenya.  Kenyans will flock here for Special Education assessments and educational therapy. Colleges will want to send their students here for practicums. It is  happening.  This is HUGE.   And it is coming...Ephesians 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us". It is crazy, this burst of confidence and strength I have gained.  I changed my lenses, I filter the information differently now. It is OK to wonder and worry a little about these children and families, but it is not OK to think I can fix it all. AND I am growing so close to these people. One of them even said I look different now, not the same as when I started here...I look Kenyan...except I am still white..haha. I am amazed , on a daily basis, when I see what you can do without. Above is a picture of the slums and a broken bridge. The Village People were still using the bridge.

              And check out these little faces..they came in for assessment. Many children wear these hats, as it is their winter here, but temperatures stay in the 60's and 70's.


           There are so many struggles here, but they persevere.  There are no baby bottles here, pampers are a luxury, foster care does not exist, corruption is abound, you may see a herd of cattle cross a three lane highway, a monkey run behind the house, a lizard crawling on the wall of the bedroom eating mosquitoes, three people, including a woman who is dressed for church,  riding on a motorbike or a regular bike for that matter, a donkey pulling a cart down the street.  I saw a tractor trailer, with a bulldozer on the back, and two men riding on the bed of the trailer on the tracks of the bulldozer, make a U-turn on the highway, a truck overflowing with furniture you are sure it is all going to tumble off at any second, a child delighting in pushing a card box around the dirt street  or playing in the sewer water, young homeless boys roaming the streets in clothes they have been wearing for months, glue sniffing children lying in piles of garbage, cats roaming around inside the restaurant you are easting dinner at, vendors selling food items that are covered with flies, men working in construction with shoes that are falling apart, hanging together by threads, with their toes sticking out, while they straighten nails and hand carry 5 gallon buckets of sand and rocks to the site where they are hand mixing cement and mortar,  mothers balancing huge loads on their head and babies on their backs, tied on with shawls, people carrying 20 liter jugs like the yellow one in the picture above, tied on their back using a shawl wrapped around their forehead.   These sites are an everyday occurrence.   But their progress is amazing.  The super highway is very busy.  People do get out of the slums and live productive lives.  Their determination is commendable. Their Faith is extraordinary, and it is genuine. I can learn a lot from these people.  Thank you Lord for blessing my life with this experience.

The Cycle of LIfe

So, if you live somewhere long enough, you will experience the cycle of life and death. The first week I was here, I met a cute little boy who was deaf, Amos.  I also met his mother and father.  His father had been very sick and had just come home from the hospital.  They seemed very happy.  Well, when we went to do a follow up home visit this week, we found out the father had passed away on Monday, due to his illness. It is so sad.  We are encouraging the mother to come to Pangani and join the sewing class.  The life and death cycle is so much quicker when people are living in the slum conditions…

Amos with his Mom and Dad

AND another tragic event happen yesterday.   One of the Missions of Hope 52 -passenger bus, with a team on it, was driving slowly out of one of the schools, through the village, and two drunk people were kidding around, and one of them fell under the bus and was killed.  The team riding the bus was devastated.  Both the bus and the driver were taken to the police station.  This is the same village where we just raised a new church on this past Sunday. The devil is hard at work but God is good.  Usually, when this happens, they village people pull the bus driver out and beat him and terrorize the passengers, but this time the village people surrounded the bus, protecting it and the bus driver, until relief arrived to take the them back to Pangani.  The bus driver was released from jail, after about 6 hours…he said he was witnessing to the people in the jail cell with him.  God has a plan. Although we cannot always see or understand his plans, we need to trust that we are right where we belong.  I trust him.

AND the other day, on our way into Pangani, we saw a crowd had gathered in the street outside the school…after conversation with people, we found out that a thief had been caught and the “Mob Justice” was beating him to death.  He was most definitely killed.  These tragedies are just part of life over here.  That is the only way they know how to live. 

 I realize on a daily basis, that I surely cannot fix everything, but the small things I am doing will have great positive consequences in the future and will positively effect many children’s, familie's, and teacher's lives…. I am well protected and never feel like I am in any danger, even though I may walk through dangerous areas, I know I am protected. I am eternally grateful, Father.  I will keep on my mission.

Kenyan teachers doing assessments, with an intern assisting

   I have trained five Missions of Hope teachers how to do informal assessment of children.  These teachers all have taken some Special Education courses at the college level, here in Kenya and they currently work at MOHI....What a blessing. I hope to use them in the new Resource Room, and replace them in the classroom with new staff...It is all coming together. Thank -you God.         

New Local Church Arises...

Children looking in on church

Cleaning, with brooms /mops

 

Grandma with her grandchild

So, On Sunday, I attended  church at Kiamaiko.  Each school is named after the slum it is located in, and if there is a church there, the church is the same name.  This church/ school has a locked gate because the community is predominately Muslim.  The children were looking in on us as we were preparing to go to church, under the tent. Today was  a special day because the fellowship was turned into a real local church with church leaders whom we commissioned this day. The ceremony was followed by a goat roasting and eating.  At first I thought gross, but what is the difference , as we have Pig Roasts all the time...the goat actually was not that bad. I heard four sermons that day, all in translated Swahli, we were there from 10:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m....that is my all time record for church going on a Sunday! Whew....Speaking of school, pictured above are children at Mathare North; children clean after lunch. The broom is made of straw. Woman sweep walkways daily with these wisps of straw.  They do take pride in their walkways and hallways. Also, older people are very difficult to find in the slums. They simply do not make it. But this is Grandma, she lives in Kiamaiko and she brought her grandson to church on Sunday and stayed for the goat eating ceremony.

Monday morning Assessments....

        

          Things are looking up and I am continued to be blessed on a daily basis. We have almost finished all our assessments. Look at these darling little ones that came to see me Monday morning.....these special needs students are getting the short end of the stick and I think I am changing the system...Woo-Hoo!

I am now drinking Chai out of the staff cups (big plastic cups) instead of the visitors small glass coffee cups. The staff  told me today that I really am a Kenyan now!

The Things I miss about America.... I am Home Sick.....

June 18, 2012

             So I have been away for 24 days and I have 59 more days here. Homesickness is definitely settling in.  Life here is so different. And they do not even know. For me, I know what my life was back in America, brushing my teeth with sink water, driving my car on the right side of the street listening to The Message on my Sirius radio, stopping at the store to run and grab some milk and eggs and some fresh fruit, parking my car at work, laughing with office staff, dinner out if I want, going to Zumba, watching my TV shows, Dancing with the Stars, Criminal Minds, or going to the movies, calling my friends, my sister or my Mom, on the phone just to say Hi, easily navigating the internet with break net speed, taking a nice long hot shower, and jumping into bed (without crawling underneath the mosquito netting every night).   Here there is none of that. There are some stores, of course, but your handbag gets checked by the security guard and his security wand, and the products are simply not the same.  The peanut butter is extremely expensive, as is any chocolate, there is no Hershey’s brand here. I see the meat in the glass case but I wonder, how long was it unrefrigerated….and it sits next to the intestines and the liver and sardines. But mostly there are street vendors where whole cows hang for up to three days and intestines look like pink snakes hanging in the window.   I just walk on by.  I miss my music, you would think I hear it all the time, but Pandora radio does not work over here, the internet is very slow, so I am left to my own mind, trying to remember those church songs I used to sing every Sunday morning, and the songs on the radio, they are fading in my mind….Weight Watcher’s has gone out the window because they eat so many carbohydrates, mashed potatoes, rice, boiled corn starch (ugali), then there is the kale and spinach and beans.  I love it when American teams come over to the house to eat because Dinner is always a treat….maybe spaghetti with meat sauce (kind of) or Mexican, with guacamole and salsa (kind of), they try…..and Fresh fruit  for dessert.

I miss home....

But this is what keeps me going.....

Life is simple here yet so difficult. So simple it is hard to imagine going back to America where all this is at my finger tips.  But I really miss it all.