Violated.....

Violated….

Violated…

Well, it finally happened.  Let me preface it with I am unharmed and safe, in my temporary home in Africa, sitting at my computer, safely locked in, behind the large, locked, gate, at the driveway entrance, behind the locked doors of the house.  The guard dogs are kept in a cage all day, and when it is time to go to bed, someone (I am not sure who) lets the dogs out of their cages to roam inside the property at night.  Sometimes, they bark so much at night they wake me up.  I have only seen one of the dogs once, there are three watch dogs. I have been in Nairobi for two months, and I venture out into the slums at least three times per week, we often need to wait on the side of the street to “jump” on a Matutu, to get to the next school.  Then we walk into the Area where the school is located, through the school gate with the guard, and head to the school office. The small children walk them selves to and from school daily. I am careful, always with 1-3 Kenyans, my hands are empty, my cell phone is hidden deep in my pocket, no purse, no hand bag, we walk with a purpose, steadily, and quickly, watching all around us. But today was different.

            Myself and one other Kenyan staff slowly walked toward the main road to wait for our Matatu, but we would have to wait for our friend. She was coming. The sun was shining, it was a beautiful day.  So we stood at the corner of the intersection, together. It is a very busy place.  Many people were roaming around, some waiting for the bus, some getting on or off, vendors selling their items, glue sniffing kids begging for food, homeless kids wandering around, and Matatu’s picking up and dropping people off, slowing down and speeding up.  I am used to many eyes watching me. But today, I could see a young man eyeing me in a different way.  It seemed like he wanted to see what he could steal.  I laid my arm over my pocket where my cell phone was tightly tucked away and crossed my hands in front of me.  I turned away as he brushed past my shoulder.  The Kenyan staff was very keen on him to.  We waited.  Trying to stay calm and brave is a very difficult thing to do when you are raked with fear.  So many things could happen out here.  Even in the most difficult of situations, I know God is in control. But the devil is very busy. We had placed ourselves so only one side of me was open to the street. As I was convincing myself everything was ok, suddenly from behind my left shoulder, a right hand whipped in front of my face, grabbing the necklace I was wearing around my neck. He yanked hard, the necklace was broke free from my neck, and the two thugs calmly walked away, looking back over their shoulder as if to say, “Ha, we did it”….they were arrogant and defiant.  I was stunned.  I just stood there, like a statue, looking at them walk away, I wanted to run after them and start screaming, but I simply turned to look at everyone else who saw it, no one moved or spoke. The Kenyan staff with me was devastated.  She apologized and I said it was not her fault.  I reached up to take off my costume jewelry earrings for fear my ears might be ripped if someone tried to get the earrings.  One of the Kenyan vendors said take it all off, and pointed to my bracelet. I told him it was a medical ID bracelet and it does not come off…..We walked back and waited for our friend.  They spoke in Kswahli.  They were very sorry it happened.  Then, as if nothing had happened, we went right back the same spot, to get on a Matatu, to go to the staff training we had scheduled for the day.  As I rode that Matatu, my bravery suddenly turned to cowardess and I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes. I felt so violated, my neck felt like it was scratched. I saw the whole thing happen again and again, they were so fast. So direct. So deliberate. Kenyans truly believe that all Americans have lots of money.  It could have been worse, they could have pushed me down, emptied my pockets, stole my shoes and anything else that is removable.  It was just a necklace, but that was not the point. Then my mind started racing, as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks…What in the world am I doing here; living in a culture that struggles to survive on a daily basis, walking through areas where homeless children roam aimlessly for years, until they start sniffing glue to numb the pain, babies cry out for the mother they do not have, children play in the black sewer water that runs down the middle of the Area, pregnant woman carry huge loads on their head or buckets of water, vendors sell food with flies buzzing around, people are starving, sick, begging, dieing, daily.  And  I think one lone soul can make a difference………

             Thankfully, I was in the front seat of the Matatu, so my colleagues could not see my face, for I was ashamed I could not hold back the tears.  The bus stopped and we were hurrying off….I wiped  away those tears and proceeded to the staff training.  I got the feeling that crying is not done in public here because as we were preparing for the staff training, eating lunch, one of the American interns asked me if I was ok…that opened the flood gates as I could not lie about it. I was not OK.  I still had not processed the incident.  I could tell my almost uncontrolled emotions were making the Kenyans uneasy.  Once again, I choked back the tears and we proceeded to perform two great trainings that day. 

At first thought, I said maybe I should give up and go home early.  Just get on an airplane and leave all this behind.  I have done all I could do here.  But then that small, quiet voice spoke to me, always so clam and convincing.  I am   doing His work, and you know what,  I am making a difference, and we will persevere through this. 

In every success, there are stumbling blocks, and hurdles we must jump.  Nothing is ever easy, But with God at my side, it sure does make those hard time easier. “I refuse to allow fear or a lack of Faith to keep me from walking victoriously in all You have for me” (2006, Omartian, A Book of Prayer). 

Now that I have had time to process, I know some good that will come from this incident. And I will continue my work until the very end.

Prayer (2006, Omartian) :

Heavenly Father, I worship You as my Lord and King. I praise You that You are all knowing and can see the end from the beginning. That You uphold all things by Your power. That You hold my life in Your hand. That You see my past and future. I lift up to You all that I am and offer my life to You. Make me an instrument through which Your will is accomplished on earth.  Use what I have for Your glory.  Lift me up to see things from your perspective, and help me to rise above my limitations.  I don’t want to limit what You can do in me and through me because I do not have an adequate vision of what Your heart desires to accomplish.

2 Thessalonians 1:11 - Therefore, we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power.

Honor and Respect, what about physical affection?

What does Honor and Respect really look like? Well, just come visit Africa for a time and you will see it. As a visitor, I am well respected and well taken care of. They apprecitate all the help. Every time I walk into a room, a chair is offered to me, and I need to sit in it as a sign of respect. Whenever you enter a room, you should greet everyone in the room with a hand shake. At the main school, there are separate bathrooms for the visitors and the staff must use the staff bathrooms. At lunch time, the visitors have their own food, and the staff and children have their own food. Visitors eat in their own room. Things are definitely different over here. That is respect for the visitors..however, as a culture, it is a different story. The woman and children live very difficult lives over here. It is all about survival. Many of the woman are single. Many of them are forced to do things you would never even dream of. Kids are left to raise themselves and left alone at a very young age. Children are left to roam the slums. Many of them are orphans. One in four adults has HIV. When you enter a different culture, you have to accept their culture and values. That has been one of the hardest things for me to accept. While I am being treated with so much respect, people are suffering. I address the house help, I say hello and goodbye, and engage them in conversation. Then I think maybe I shouldn't talk to them because I am going against the grain of the culture. It is a fine line to walk. Even a simple hug is going against the grain. Physical affection is non existent here. While attending a parent training on Friday, I was able to simply observe the parents as I waited to address them. Over 60% of the parents were carrying babies, tied on their backs. As I watched them, I realized they are handling their babies like a rag dolls: Pushing and pulling them from their backs to their front, tying and untying them, nursing them, but rarely did I see any genuine signs of affection. No coddling or caressing, no simple physical gestures of love. Maybe it is just me, but I was amazed. The babies rarely cry and if they do, they are told to be quiet. Public school still uses caning, or corporal punishment. It is just the way it is. You can not expect to enter a different culture and think you are going to change their ways. But I am trying..... A teacher was relaying a story to me about her friend who teaches in a high class school for the blind and deaf in Africa. The school is for the "rich people". One day the school bus broke down, so the teacher offered to go get the child and bring them to school. The child is blind, deaf, and non verbal. The mother walked on the opposite side of the street. As the teacher and child were trying to board a matatu, everyone on the matatu got off the bus for fear they would be cursed by the child. The mother acted as if she did not even know the child or the teacher. This is their culture. That is just the way it is..... But I feel like I am making some break throughs. Every parent training we have attended has resulted in new clients. Parents are finding us or going to the Social Workers to say they have a child who needs help. New clients are awesome. I was very encouraged when we met a father last week. His 12 year old son is actually registered with the National Council of people with Disabilities in Kenya and has an ID card for his son. His son attends a private school and the father has worked with "some Americans" in the past, regarding disabilities. We will contact the group and see if we can connect. I have come to realize that Africa is a nation of extremes, there are only the have's and have nots, the poor and the rich, the corrupt and the non corrupt. There is no in between, it either is or is not. That is just the way it is.

Success Stories...Closing the Circle

       My new motto this year is Close the Circle, that means whatever I start, I need to assure that it gets finished, checking with everyone involved until the very end.  So here in Kenya, we met a parent and her child has clubfoot.  She did not know what to do. We referred her to the clinic, we assured she went to her appointment, and now her son is being treated for free. His clubfoot surgery went well.  Here he is with his casts on. 



Casts for two months



        They will stay on for two months, then he will wear foot braces. Below , on the right, is a second child we are working with.  He is done with his surgery and now in phase II. He will wear these foot braces for 2-3 years at night.

Braces for 2-3 years at night



       Another story...when we met Nicole, she was constantly crying, her mother said she never stops crying and it has lasted four years.  The mother continually tries to console her daughter. As I looked at the child, I felt she was having ear problems. We told the mother to bring her child to the clinic.  One of the teams was holding a free medical clinc that week at the school. The mother followed through and brought her child to the clinic. The mother was given ear medicine.  We told her we would be back to assess after the medication was finished.  Ten days later, Guess what?  Nicole's ears cleared up, she can hear now and she has stopped crying....the mother was amazed and so happy. And the stories go on and on.....

                Another success story....I met my sponsor child and her family again this year..."By small and simple things are great things brought to pass" Alma 37:6

My sponsor child, Winfred Nduko Mwende, 7 years old



          Another success story..... I took up driving in Kenya. Wow, what an experience. The steering wheel is on the right hand side of the car and you drive on the left hand side of the road. Thankfully, the gas pedal is still on the right and the brake pedal is still on the left.  With all the Matatu's and crazy drivers, I really need to concentrate. But I just had to learn....Just to say I did it!!!

          Also, I attended a Pre Wedding Ceremony on Sunday. It was a fund raiser for someone's wedding.  The funny thing was, they auctioned off these chickens...and some eggs, and an umbrella......I am definitley in Africa.... 

            



Chickens for Auction at a Pre Wedding Ceremony

 

Life in the slums.....



       

Life in the slums is  difficult,  but they do not know any other way. So you wake up in the morning, and go to work if you have a job, otherwise, you sell your goods on the road, or beg, or steal, and do your laundry, next to the sewer that runs through the slums;  hang it out to dry and go find food.        I am honored to be here serving for God.  "The course of our lives is seldom determined by great, life-altering decisions.  Our direction is often set by small, day-to-day choices that chart the track on which we run.  This is the substance of our lives - making choices". ( Stand a Little Taller, 2001).  
          I will close this circle and leave behind a sustainable Special Education referral, assessment, and support system for this school and community....I have five more weeks to finish the task....I  guess I will have to come back to see the fruits of my labor blossom and change lives forever...I haven't even left and already I am thinking of coming back....but that is how it goes.       

Health Scare

         "For I know the plans I have for you:, declares the Lord,  plans to  prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will  listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you"  declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11-14. I know the Lord has kept me here for a reason.  Fifteen years ago I was diagnosed with a progressive degenerative heart disease.  Today, I am kept alive by a computer in my chest. I have an implanted defibrillator / pacemaker.  It paces my heart, beating at 80- beats per minute and shocks my heart if I go into fibrillation. This shock therapy has occurred five times in the last five years and it feels like a horse kicking me in the chest with his two hind legs. This causes me to live every day as if it were my last day on Earth.  Travelling half way around the world, with an unpredictable heart condition may be a little frightening to some, but I feel so free.  I know The Lord will take me when it is my time to go.

Me teaching a teacher how to do Assessments

         Sooo, I received  a new top of the line computer, via surgery last July.  For the last two weeks , here in Kenya, twice a day, for 30 seconds, I heard a soft beeping, like a phone was going dead. I looked everywhere, listening to all the electronics near me to see where the beeping was coming from.  Anyone sitting near me heard it to.  I told the American visitors that all the electronics in Africa beeped twice a day.  Then on Wednesday night, I heard it again, but this time, I was alone, in bed, when I realized the beeping was coming from inside my chest...I got scared. My implanted computer was beeping. I called the US doctor and waited for a call back but they never came through. I went to sleep. In the morning, I calmly told Mary I needed to go to the hospital. I had a list of hospitals in Nairobi who could read my computer.  Off we went. The first hospital did not understand the urgency of the situation, we waited. Then after some time and discussion, we decided to go try another hospital. The driver drove Isabella and I, we got lost, asked or help and finally arrived at Nairobi Hospital. I told the information booth we needed cardiology. We were directed up to the third floor into a tiny office with 7 African people waiting in the waiting groom.   I did not know what to expect. I was in  a third world country and wondered if they knew how to interrogate my internal defibrillator. God is amazing.  He had it all planned out.
               Within five minutes, the Medtronics ( my computer company) technician greeted me in  the waiting room and said they were all available.  Not only was the high tech machine available, the technician who reads the information was there, as well as the cardiologist Doctor.  They were all African.  I was never so glad to see a familiar machine as the moment when I walked in that tiny room and saw the Medtronics technicians standing there, ready to put the mouse on my chest to read my computer. They were very interested in my "new" technology"..as they were all gathered around the computer screen on the Medtronics machine the Doctor calmly asked, " Where were you on June 20, at 1:08 pm?"  that was a Wednesday...I had no idea. The Doctor told me I was very lucky because I had come in contact with a large magnetic field and it had triggered my computer to deliver shock therapy to my heart, but aborted because I must have walked out of range of the magnetic field.. Who knew...so the alarm on my new computer was telling me I should avoid that area.  I still did not where I had been.  In the slums, there is minimal electronics.  The doctors and others  were very reassuring, they reset the computer alarm so it would stop beeping, said thank you, and sent me on my way. I thanked them. At the desk,  I asked what paperwork I could fill out and they said none.  They gave me the doctors card and told me if I have any  more problems to come back and see them,. They treated me for free!  This service costs over $1,000 in America.  In Kenyan shillings, it would have cost over 100,000 Shillings. I am still reeling from the hospitality, the availability of all the right people, and my machine aborting. This is definitely a blessing from God.  He deserves all the Glory.

God's creation and I got to see it....close up!

        Back at work, we reviewed our schedule and figured out we were at a Children's hospital doing a site visit on June 20.  I will not go back there again.
    I felt compelled to tell my story because, in Christ, all things are possible. But we need to listen to the Lord.  We need to take time to reflect on our own path, reflect on our posture of heart and our motives for doing what we do.  And we need to trust that little voice that talks to us in prayer. Do not doubt yourself. Serve. You have a lot to offer. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and soul and he will set thy path straight.  I honestly never dreamed I would be doing this, here now, living in Kenya for three months.  I listened to a small voice in my head, over year ago, and did not give up.  If we just trust and believe and BE Still and Listen, GOD will do immeasurably more than  we ever imagined. I am so blessed to continue to fulfill God's plan for me.  Thank You Lord for your guidance.

Celebrating Independence Day in Kenya

        4th of July in Kenya, well, it is a little different....I woke up and wished myself a Happy day, then off to work I went to see the front page of the daily paper with Headlines that read "Somali Attack on Kenya Imminent" ,  "Al Kada forces sure to attack" and "Casualties still rolling in from the Kenyan Church bombing" .  It is very strange to be in a country that is fighting a war. I have seen many , many more Kenya military, on the side of the road,  at key intersections with their machine guns over their shoulder.  Kenyans take these threats very, very seriously. 

Girls at church

         But we must continue on our day.  I know the Lord has me in his arms.  Soooo, it just wouldn't be 4th of July without a cook out and, some long term missionaries, Keith and Kathy Hamm, had a cook out at their house tonight..they served cheeseburgers (although good cheese is hard to come by, and lettuce is a luxury), chips and Brownies and cake..Yummy... and I led the large group of 50 visitors in singing God Bless America, and you know, I really felt it, Thank you God for Blessing America..... Kathy said when she was at the butchery, buying the hamburger, she told the  butcher he might want to stock up on hamburger because the 4th of July is America's Independence day and Americans might be buying more burger...and do you know what he said...he said, " Well true democracy must be celebrated"  So Celebrate our great country.  Let's not forget how great it really is.....I will never take it for granted again.

           Thank-you for all your support and prayers. I hear them and feel them. If you have been trying to comment on my blog and have been unsuccessful, it is because you need to have a Google email account through gmail in order to comment. You can easily set one up or Feel free to contact me using my personal  email: loisknapton100@hotmail.com

And guess who showed up in Kenya? Pastor Ron's brother from Maryland,
Pastor Rob Kastens.   Who knew?  His team just left to go on Safari.  It is indeed a small world.

Look closely and you will see Ron with hair!!!

Pastor Rob, Ron's brother, preaching in Kenya, at Pangani Church with Pastor Henry

Wow, July 2, 2012

While all of you are roasting in 90-degree weather, I am sitting in 55 degrees at night and sometimes 70 during the day. It seems odd that I am just skipping summer all together.  My seasonal clock is a little tipped….some of the things I miss are:  camping, watching the campfire burn, eating smores, looking at the stars and full moon, swimming,  boating and kayaking,  lounging by the pool, and especially  ice cream cones, bummer…

Male Lion in the Masai Mara, Safari

 BUT it is ok, because I am truly making a difference in many lives and I am sure I will have plenty of summers to enjoy in the future.  AND I really hate the heat anyway.  At least I will not have to pay an air conditioner bill!!!  The other day, as I wound around the unpaved, side roads of Kenya, on a six hour journey going to safari, I sat in the back seat of a beat up old van, jostling up and down as we navigate our way over the speed bumps and around the many potholes (nothing compares to them in America) , donkey carts, mattatus, motor bikes, and people, I wondered what it would feel like to drive again. What if I forget?  And I am kind of getting used to driving on the left side of the roads….

BUT I did have a scary experience last week, I almost got mugged by slum thugs.  We were walking through a slum on our way to visit a child at a school.  The day had started with the mattuttu  driver charging us double the fare because of the white girl. He drove off with our change. There were three of us, Isabella, Anne, and myself.  These girls are tiny little girls, size 0 or one. The road was muddy so we were forced to walk single file. We got separated and I was a bit nervous. But God always has a plan.  Isabella was four people ahead of us.  She is alert, and always paying attention to her surroundings. She heard two guys saying, “ Let’s attack this musungo, I will take her earrings, you get the necklace, and I will try to get the shoulder bag”….so Isabella waited for me to catch up then she pushed me in the opposite direction, through the muddy street, and said,” “Go that way”  and off I went, followed by Anne,  as Isabella yelled at the men.  By the way, the earrings, were simple costume jewelry and the necklace was a African one I bought for $200 shillings, or about $2.37.  The hand bag was a small cloth bag wrapped around my shoulder.  After we were safely out of harm's away, we were all clearly a bit shaken, but we found a friendly vendor to sit by and collect our wits.  This kind of thing happens in many cities, not just Kenya….but the color of my skin really  makes me a target over here.   God is good, but let’s not forget, we need to do our part.  I am so grateful for his protection. We do not take it for granted.

Baboon walking on the road

If you have ever been part of implementing sustainable, systematic change, you know, that on a daily basis, it just feels like another day. We need to get done what we planned to get done for the day…but over time, when you look back over the road, you say, "Wow, how did we get here already?”  The change process is a funny thing, especially when it is a “God thing” with him pushing and prodding all along the way, and people praying, and hoping for the change agents success.  I have had some great conversations with  Mary and Wallace with regard to leadership and change. They are incredible examples of what can be accomplished with a vision and Faith.  Do not ever doubt your self.  I had vision over a year ago and I felt a strong need to pursue it. I just felt like I had something to offer, I could develop a system of referral, assessment and supports for children with special needs, in a country where there is none.  And look at me. I never dreamed in a thousand years I would be here in Kenya, doing this.  Never doubt yourself. If you believe something, especially if it comes to you in prayer, sit up and listen, reflect and see what it might mean for you.  Too often , we are too busy to listen. Be still.  I have learned that over the last 7 weeks. Be still, for I am with you.  Amen.  

            Anyway,  I am almost half way through my time here in Kenya, and my emotions are mixed, part of me keeps pulling my mind to Kenya and their continuous needs and the other part of me is starting to emotionally prepare for my departure.  I am totally integrated into the Kenyan lifestyle and these people are so gracious, loving, and protective.  It feels like they would lay down their life for me, like Jesus.  They are that loving. And it is genuine.  The thought of integrating back into America, with its culture is already scaring me. I will never be the same person as the one that left in May.