Honor and Respect, what about physical affection?

What does Honor and Respect really look like? Well, just come visit Africa for a time and you will see it. As a visitor, I am well respected and well taken care of. They apprecitate all the help. Every time I walk into a room, a chair is offered to me, and I need to sit in it as a sign of respect. Whenever you enter a room, you should greet everyone in the room with a hand shake. At the main school, there are separate bathrooms for the visitors and the staff must use the staff bathrooms. At lunch time, the visitors have their own food, and the staff and children have their own food. Visitors eat in their own room. Things are definitely different over here. That is respect for the visitors..however, as a culture, it is a different story. The woman and children live very difficult lives over here. It is all about survival. Many of the woman are single. Many of them are forced to do things you would never even dream of. Kids are left to raise themselves and left alone at a very young age. Children are left to roam the slums. Many of them are orphans. One in four adults has HIV. When you enter a different culture, you have to accept their culture and values. That has been one of the hardest things for me to accept. While I am being treated with so much respect, people are suffering. I address the house help, I say hello and goodbye, and engage them in conversation. Then I think maybe I shouldn't talk to them because I am going against the grain of the culture. It is a fine line to walk. Even a simple hug is going against the grain. Physical affection is non existent here. While attending a parent training on Friday, I was able to simply observe the parents as I waited to address them. Over 60% of the parents were carrying babies, tied on their backs. As I watched them, I realized they are handling their babies like a rag dolls: Pushing and pulling them from their backs to their front, tying and untying them, nursing them, but rarely did I see any genuine signs of affection. No coddling or caressing, no simple physical gestures of love. Maybe it is just me, but I was amazed. The babies rarely cry and if they do, they are told to be quiet. Public school still uses caning, or corporal punishment. It is just the way it is. You can not expect to enter a different culture and think you are going to change their ways. But I am trying..... A teacher was relaying a story to me about her friend who teaches in a high class school for the blind and deaf in Africa. The school is for the "rich people". One day the school bus broke down, so the teacher offered to go get the child and bring them to school. The child is blind, deaf, and non verbal. The mother walked on the opposite side of the street. As the teacher and child were trying to board a matatu, everyone on the matatu got off the bus for fear they would be cursed by the child. The mother acted as if she did not even know the child or the teacher. This is their culture. That is just the way it is..... But I feel like I am making some break throughs. Every parent training we have attended has resulted in new clients. Parents are finding us or going to the Social Workers to say they have a child who needs help. New clients are awesome. I was very encouraged when we met a father last week. His 12 year old son is actually registered with the National Council of people with Disabilities in Kenya and has an ID card for his son. His son attends a private school and the father has worked with "some Americans" in the past, regarding disabilities. We will contact the group and see if we can connect. I have come to realize that Africa is a nation of extremes, there are only the have's and have nots, the poor and the rich, the corrupt and the non corrupt. There is no in between, it either is or is not. That is just the way it is.